When you’re with someone for many years, your relationship will naturally go through phases.

As fun and wonderful relationships are, they require some work to keep them going.

Losing some of your feelings in a long-term relationship is almost inevitable, and you find out that you are not as head over heels in love with your partner as you were in the beginning. It is perfectly normal to not feel the butterflies in your belly anymore, so you’re not a bad person if you find out the feelings are not as deep anymore. That’s why most people think love alone cannot keep a relationship going. But this doesn’t mean the relationship has to come to an end, the spark can be kept alive and you find out you still want to be with your partner, you want the relationship to work out.

Here are some ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship:

Love in your partner’s love language

Yes, you still love your partner, but are you loving them in the way they want to be loved?. A person’s love language is the way they prefer to be shown love to. Your love language may vary from your partner’s, this is why it is important to understand your partner’s love language and put it into practice. This way, it is easier to communicate your love to them. If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, write them love letters from time to time, tell them how you feel about them at the most random moments, and make them feel special with your words. If your partner’s love language is spending quality time together, they would feel loved when you make time, even out of your busy schedule to spend time with them. Loving your partner in their love language is a sure way to keep the fire burning.

Date your partner

Going on dates is not only meant for people in the talking stage. Even married people should go on dates. This helps you connect to your partner on a new level, create a romantic atmosphere, and just enjoy the moment without the interference of other people, gadgets, and devices. It is alone time with your partner. The perk of it is that you can take aesthetic pictures to keep the memories alive. So from time to time, dress up and go out on romantic dates with your partner. It doesn’t even have to be the most extravagant date. The moment is all that matters. Don’t stop flirting with your partner.

Communicate always
Communication is key in any relationship. Let your partner know how you feel at every point in time. Don’t keep things from them, especially when they do some little things that hurt you, they might not even realize. But you should let your partner know to avoid a reoccurrence in the future. And also respect your partner’s needs.

Try something new
Routines are boring and you’ll get tired pretty fast. Always try something new with your partner. If your partner is the type that enjoys traveling, go on spontaneous trips, travel to new places, and explore the world together. Plan surprises for them. Know what your partner likes and try them out from time to time.

Pay attention to your partner

When you’re spending time with your partner, give them your full attention, drop your phone. Make them feel wanted, and maintain eye contact with them.

Start a conversation

When was the last time you had a real conversation with your partner? A conversation that did not involve to-do lists or take place in the few minutes before bed? Sharing a real, emotional connection means having conversations about your future, caring about what’s on the other’s mind, daydreaming together, or reconnecting about your needs in the relationship. If your only conversations these days start with “How was work?” or “Here’s what we have to do tomorrow,” try to spark a deeper conversation.

Make laughing together a top priority

Laughter may be the best medicine, but it’s also the best-kept secret to keeping the spark alive. You know those times when you joke about a fight or an incident like, “Someday we’ll laugh at this?” Why wait until someday? If you’re together for the long haul, there’s nothing you need to take too seriously—when you can, see the humor in your disagreements or uncomfortable moments.

Make a change instead of hoping that your partner will

If you want your partner to say or do more romantic things, it can feel a lot like nagging if you are constantly asking them to give you more. Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more you can be giving to your partner. When you’re with the right person, they’ll take notice of your extra effort and feel inspired to give some extra effort back. Be generous with affection, and if you love them unconditionally, prove it.